Very often, they are implicitly white-centered and/or mostly geared toward gays and lesbians.On top of this, bi black women have to deal with sexism and hetero-patriarchy.Bi black people exist at the intersections of many forms of oppression, and this difficult positionality makes it complicated for us to find love.We not only have to deal with homophobia in our families – we also have to navigate biphobia among black gays and lesbians – while dealing with racism in the broader LGBTQIA “community.” There is also the reality that most “LGBTQIA ” spaces are actually not for us.I didn’t know anything about June Jordan, the gorgeously talented African-American writer who also happened to be openly and proudly bisexual.And while I was a millennial growing up with the Internet, there was no Web 2.0 in my youth that could instantly connect me to other queer and bisexual people of color.I’ve had family members who know I’m bi begin to believe that I “turned straight” when I dated men.
Black bisexual women are often misunderstood, excluded, or fetishized.
The more I came to forgive myself for my own biphobia and homophobia, the more I felt compassion for those who are still struggling with the limitations of their social conditioning.
Today, I’m in a loving relationship with a lesbian woman who has done the work to recognize and transcend her own biphobia and homophobia.
I didn’t learn that bisexuality was an actual identity until well into my college years.
By this time, I was in a long term relationship with a man.