Even as a teen, instead of practising my snogging technique on a poster of Nick from the Backstreet Boys, I would be daydreaming of Lister (Craig Charles) from Red Dwarf.
Unfortunately, through a combination of hormones and immaturity, I learned to perfect this system into one where I could convince nearly any girl at all – from the shy bookworm to the bubbly cheerleader – to become fascinated enough with my persona that they would go on a date with me Now, over twenty years later, I’m going to spill the beans on the tried and true tricks that guys still use online today.In a chat room or in IM, a guy can think for several minutes before typing a reply. He can look up romantic lines from a movie, or very obscure, romantic poems to quote from.He can become as funny as Eddie Murphy high on speed, while in reality he might be about as humorous as a liver transplant.As a result, the streets of the city are filled with smug-looking Western guys holding hands with their pint-sized Chinese princesses.Petite and eager to please, these girls are so cute I don’t blame the guys for being attracted to them.Quite why I once agreed to a second date with a guy from Sweden who wore white socks that came up to his mid-calves and who rattled on endlessly about his Chinese ex-girlfriend, I can’t be sure.And I went on three dates with a New Yorker who proudly boasted of a book he kept that contained the names of every woman he’d ever slept with (with scores).Hot to spot him: Every joke he makes is really funny. In 2012, the Huffington Post reported on a survey conducted by the makers of a mobile pet app, who found that certain breeds of dogs attract the opposite gender more than others. Walk a puppy across a college campus, and you’ll see what I mean. Well, any guy who can express his love for a puppy or a child becomes insanely attractive to most women (especially women dreaming about starting a family).He never misses an opportunity to show off his wit, but his responses are rarely quick. John Grogan, the author of “…it’s all about the dog – and what that tells women: A man who can love, and be loved by, a dog is a man they can trust, a man with good odds of being decent and sincere and in touch with the soft center beneath the hardened shell.”Every male player knows that the only way to grow the tree of desire in your heart is to plant a seed and water it often.To me, though, these obstacles seemed like things that would make a relationship more interesting.But then I always have had an unusual taste in men.