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A couple of days later they come back into the bar and the bartender walks over and asks "What do you guys want today?

" The man says, "I'll have a scotch", the ostrich says, "I'll have a bourbon", and the cat says, "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." So the bartender says "OK, that will be .53." The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him.

When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender says to him, 'You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time.' The Irishman replies, 'Well, you see, I have two brothers.

Some Things You Just Can't Explain A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk.

A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?

Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail." "Hmmm," the man said and nodded his head. "Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.

" The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain." "So what happened that's so horrible? "Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left." "And then?

Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket." "Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad." "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied. " "Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her.

'The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. *** Drink 'Till She's Cute A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard days work to relax.

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