All beginnings are lovely – or so the sage proclaims. Two individuals come together – attraction, lust, love, personality styles, personal and family histories, attachment, and lifestyles collide – and there you are in the middle of a daring, challenging, and steamy relationship.
If this ship becomes a timeless elegant regatta or a wrack is heavily determined by the personality styles of the involved partners’.
Linehan (1993) developed a treatment approach for BPD called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).
It’s a combination of Eastern Mindfulness Training and Western Cognitive Behavior Therapy.
Remember we all have personality traits, which does not make us personality disordered.
These behaviors are sometimes perceived as manipulative: To get attention and one’s needs met – “I need you here; you can’t leave; I show you why.” Scared and emotionally drained partners generally seek advice on how to get out; others are still confused about their partner’s behavior. ” When the partner with BPD travels the roller-coaster of emotions (it’s a habit and due to the lack of coping skills not because it feels good) the healthier partner feels overwhelmed and describes his situation as being “stuck between a rock and a hard place;” feeling bad and responsible hence unable to leave her, he states his partner gets “incredibly angry and sometimes physically and verbally abusive.” What follows is a pattern of submissive, self-loathing behaviors.
They are very impulsive; volatile moods and angry outbursts are the norm; deficits in social perception and social skills become even more apparent when disappointments occur.
Plus co-occurring disorders such as substance and eating disturbances, reckless spending and mood disorders add to the emotional burden.
The individual with BPD does not have an inner center; she does not know who she is.
She tries to gauge her self-image at any given situation by interpreting the expressions of others (kind of the blind leading the blind giving her over-sensibility). Hopefully, this evokes some compassion – imagine how scary when you are just drifting at the mercy of what you believe others may do or think.