This is important and he will be talking about it, so listen with a keen intensity when he does.Here is a checklist: You must be definite that he is actually getting a divorce and has not just taken a few weeks off from his marriage to "find himself" or "get space." Are papers being filed or served? Any reports of progress are a green light that he is headed in the right direction as a possible partner for you.Again, counseling for someone in a relationship with heavy addiction issues is a must and any insistence that, "I'm not crazy, she's the one that's crazy," is a rehearsal for his lines in the movie that might become your life if you stick with him and he continues to live in denial about his role in things going bad.If he flat out does not know what went wrong with the marriage or is evasive, insist he get to the bottom of it with you.Complaints about the judge also indicate that he was unreasonable in the marriage and/or separation.
Although the best advice is to take it as slow as possible, things often speed up without us realizing it, as love can be the natural state of things and seem so easy when it appears.
If he brings up conspiracy theories or convoluted logic, these are signs of a paranoid manipulator.
If he is happy to see things going along at a predictable pace, this is a man who does not relish conflict, and who also does not back down from seeing a task through – quite a good catch no matter what his recent circumstances have been.
With the "slow it down warning" emblazoned on the relationship, let's look at the possible pitfalls your man presents.
The first question that must be answered is: Why is he getting a divorce and what is the timeline?