Anger is another very common feeling and that anger may have been inside you for a long time.It will help to find a safe way of expressing that anger.There are psychosexual counsellors who are especially trained in helping people who have difficulty in sexual relationships and you can learn to build up trust again. You want to get to a stage where the past does not effect your everyday life.
Yes, be cautious but you need to take the risk of trusting again - yes you may get hurt but you are an adult now and you can deal with that - but you may not get hurt - you may find yourself a loving and caring relationship - if you don't open yourself up to trust you will never find that.
As an adult you do have a choice and can choose which path you take - a path towards negativity, destroying yourself as a person, continually blaming yourself and putting yourself down - or you can choose a path towards healing and recovery - learning to like and love yourself, praise yourself, value yourself, take the blame and guilt off your shoulders, start to be positive, start to achieve what you want to achieve in life, move towards happiness, love, fulfilment.
The choice is You need a lot of support around you.
You don't need to turn the anger onto yourself - you have done nothing wrong - you need to start taking care of yourself - a person who has been abused needs all the love and support in the world.
You may find it very difficult to trust and that is understandable because your trust has been betrayed.