Sadly, my immature and unhealthy desires predictably did much more harm than good. Maybe dating has been hard for you too, for these reasons or others. It’s enough to leave you like an eight-year-old, asking, “Mom, where do weddings come from?” The vision of marriage we see in God’s word — the beautiful, radical display of God’s infinite, persevering love for sinners — makes it worth it to date, and date well.In a day when people are marrying later and later, and more and more are resorting to online matchmaking, we probably need to be reminded that marriage really is less about compatibility than commitment.
Here are (some) principles for your not-yet marriages.There is a reason the Bible doesn’t have a book devoted to how to choose a spouse.It was not an oversight on the part of the God of all history, as if he couldn’t see into the twenty-first century.The happiness of marriage is not only or even mainly physical.With the sex, there ought to be a deep sense of safety, a sense of being loved and accepted for who you are, a desire to please without the need to impress.If low-commitment sexual promiscuity sounds like freedom, we don’t get it.Jesus may ask more of us, but he does so to secure and increase our greatest and longest-lasting (sexual) happiness.Regardless of the believer you marry, you will likely find out soon that you do not feel as “compatible” as you once did, but hopefully you will marvel more at God’s love for you in Jesus and the amazing privilege it is to live out that love together, especially in light of your differences.In our worst moments, our objectives are small and misguided.But God had much more in mind with romance than orgasms or even procreation, and so should we. When people in the world are expecting less and less of each other in dating, God isn’t.So, as singles we have to work harder in our not-yet-married relationships to preserve what marriage ought to picture and provide.