Even a strong and assertive woman can find herself inexplicably quiet in the bedroom.
There’s an old joke about men along this sentiment: if you tell a dude you like something, there's a good chance he'll do it over and over and over. Be direct about the positives, and don’t be shy, says Carpenter.I want to know if it is possible to have a conversation with a guy without it getting sexual?I’m not talking about a little flirting, I’m talking about body parts being described, how they would be used, etc.In Sex Ed, there was never a conversation about pleasure or how to obtain it, or what happens if something goes wrong—aside from getting pregnant or an STD.”This type of thinking is what leads to loads of women who are unsatisfied in the sack and unable to express themselves effectively—just sort of falling into their sex lives. Fortunately, a ho-hum sex life doesn’t have to be your fate.Here’s how to start the conversation about likes and dislikes, how to convey a clear message in the moment and spare feelings in the process.“Talk about the positives the next day,” she insists.“Say, ‘I love that we took it slow last night.’” And if you’d rather he stop something, if it was uncomfortable or displeasing, just sandwich the negative between a couple positives (compliment sandwich, anyone? Bottom line: most men when they are personally responsible for your sexual satisfaction. So, focus on those moments when you did—and (hint, hint) hope to again in the future! The more you tell him what you like, the more likely he’ll ruminate and focus on those things. "Keep it very actionable, but in a positive way.”Work on redirecting, not criticizing. If he keeps reverting to a move or position you don’t like?Sure, you can minimize it by not tolerating it, but idiots will always be idiots.The quickest way to teach them a lesson about dirty talk is to block their profiles instantly.Telling the truth is for other people; we want the right to play fast and loose with the facts as we see fit. And I’ll tell you – after seeing media figures raked over the coals of bloggers, haters and little people – for nothing more than being themselves – well, I’m just bracing myself for that day when some of my old bad karma comes back to haunt me.I know this isn’t really an answer to your question, Leah, but it feeds into something just as important – the understanding that lowbrow, shady, embarrassing, perverted, negative behavior flourishes on the internet like bacteria in a Petri dish.