” There seems to be some confusion about this, so let me explain what it means, to everyone, for all time.It does not mean “I am nice in some important cosmic sense, therefore I am entitled to sex with whomever I want.” It means: “I am a nicer guy than Henry.” Or to spell it out very carefully, Henry clearly has no trouble attracting partners.One I just grew tired of.” “You’ve beaten up all five of your wives? Last time I talked about these experiences, one of my commenters linked me to what was later described as the only Theodore Dalrymple piece anyone ever links to.Most of the commenters saw a conservative guy trying to push an ideological point, and I guess that’s part of it.But I did think I deserved to not be doing worse than Henry. And I made the horrible mistake of asking this question out loud, and that was how I learned about social justice. We will now perform an ancient and traditional Slate Star Codex ritual, where I point out something I don’t like about feminism, then everyone tells me in the comments that no feminist would ever do that and it’s a dirty rotten straw man.And then I link to two thousand five hundred examples of feminists doing exactly that, and then everyone in the comments No-True-Scotsmans me by saying that that doesn’t count and those people aren’t representative of feminists.
And I said the same thing as every other nice guy, which is “I am a nice guy, how come girls don’t like me?But for me it looked more like the story of a psychiatrist from an upper-middle-class background suddenly realizing how dysfunctional and screwed-up a lot of his patients are and having his mind recoil in horror from the fact – which is something I can sympathize with.Henry was the worst of a bad bunch, but nowhere near unique.And of course, like most of the people I deal with at my job, there’s no good answer except maybe restructuring society from the ground up, so I gave him some platitudes about how it’s not his fault, told him about all the social services available to him, and gave him a pill to treat a biochemical condition almost completely orthogonal to his real problem.And I’m still not sure what a good response to his question would have been.I’ve seen a lot of Hard Workers (TM) like you, and scratch their entitled surface and you find someone who thinks just because they punched a time card once everyone needs to bow down and worship them.If you complain about “rich white kids who get legacy admissions to Yale,” you’re raising a huge red flag that you’re the kind of person who steals from their employer, and companies are exactly right to give you a wide berth.But later that night I was browsing the Internet and I was reminded of what the worse response humanly possible.It would go something like: You keep whining about how “unfair” it is that you can’t get a good job.He was working two full-time minimum wage jobs, living off cheap noodles so he could save some money in the bank, trying to scrape a little bit of cash together.Unfortunately, he’d had a breakdown (see: him being in a psychiatric hospital), he was probably going to lose his jobs, and everything was coming tumbling down around him.