If there is one area where the most people seem to screw themselves over in dating, it’s that they let themselves obsess about everything.When you hear “obsession,” the mind often jumps to one-itis – and yes, getting hung up on the belief that this person or that person is The One is going to hold you back in dating.But when you try to intellectualize the process, it makes you all the more conscious of what you’re doing and thus overwhelms you. By overthinking about that putt, that footstep, catching that ball, or going on that date, you’re moving in the skill states.
You watch the ball, you reach up, catch it, maybe throw it back. But when you start thinking about all the complexities involved…suddenly you can’t do it anymore.
That, in turn, is going to reflect in your behavior – you’re going to be tense and nervous, uptight and hyper-aware of everything.
You’re going to make your date tense and uncomfortable because tense and uncomfortable, and that in itself can rapidly become an inescapable downward spiral of suck. Embrace that things are going to go wrong or weird.
I have lost track of how many people have written to me in a panic, believing that some little detail has totally derailed their date or their relationship.
They beat themselves up over the fact that they weren’t date with their particular snugglebunny.