Charlie Kelly: [Charlie walks up to a shopping mall Santa Claus as Mac watches, after learning that his mother was a prostitute who had her clients dress up as Santa on Christmas to avoid upsetting Charlie] Santa Claus: Ho ho ho ho.
Are you sure cause I feel like I’m awake” Dennis: “No man, this is a dream that I am having.” Charlie: “Am I peeing?
Dennis: Uh, these are gorgeous women with heaving breasts. Dennis: Uh, well, to be perfectly honest, we sorta thought we’d be speaking to a man today, so…Mac: Yeah, is there any way that we could talk to your boss because I think he would understand more better.
, along with Mac’s latent homosexuality and Dennis being a sexual predator. When everyone starts fighting with each other, of course, Charlie tapes a conversation of Dennis and Mac have about trying to frame Frank over a Spin Doctor’s cassette, which he leaves at City Hall in a package marked “4 THE MARE.” “OK Mr. ” Season Three: “The Gang Dances Their Asses Off” Charlie’s illiteracy nearly causes the gang to lose Paddy’s Pub, when he signs the bar up for a dance marathon and offers Paddy’s as the grand prize, thinking he was listing it under the “pride” section.
[Charlie bites Santa’s neck, causing blood to spray everywhere, then drags him to the ground and mercilessly beats him in front of hundreds of crying children before Mac finally drags him away]Charlie’s suspicion of Mac is heightened so he drinks 24 beers.
” Charlie: “Hey guys if I’m peeing, wake me up.”Charlie Kelly: Oh sh*t.
Mac: But it sounds like a song where a man breaks into your house and rapes you.
” Charlie: Talking smack to his rivals in a dance competition: “Let me tell you a little lesson, buddy. So it isn’t really too surprising that his brain is working different than normal people. Check out 10 Most Hilarious Charlie Kelly Quotes below. Feel free to comment and add your favourite Charlie Kelly quotes. Charlie Kelly: [Charlie sits on Santa’s lap] Santa Claus: Oh! Charlie Kelly: [Charlie’s America Song] I’m gonna rise up, I’m gonna kick a little ass, Gonna kick some ass in the USA, Gonna climb a mountain, Gonna sew a flag, Gonna fly on an Eagle, I’m gonna kick some butt, I’m gonna drive a big truck, I’m gonna rule this world, Gonna kick some ass, Gonna rise up, Kick a little ass, ROCK, FLAG AND EAGLE! Season Two: “The Gang Runs For Office” Again, Dennis at first refuses to read another script Charlie writes for a speech for his comptroller campaign, but eventually gives in and of course it’s broken English which barely makes sense. The beauty of this scene is the cut to Charlie, who apparently has the speech memorized and mouths the words as Dennis is reading them: I’ll read the words you wrote. I like all characters but Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day) character has a special place. He thought was his biological father but he later finds out that he was adopted. [to Charlie] So, son – what would you like for Christmas, huh? His father is still unknown and I would be really hard to find his original father since his mother was a prostitute. He has a perfect job, a perfect mother to grow with and he is in love with a waitress who hates him. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, Night Man. I mean the first half of that song was kind of cool, but what’s with the second half? I can’t fight you man when you come inside me and pin me down with your strong hands and I become the Night…